A lot of people have been asking a particular question of me a lot lately. Every time I give an answer. I've been asked many times and I've given many different answers. And anybody on the recieving end of those answers knows as well as I do that they are over-rationalized excuses.
That's all they are excuses. They're not real answers.
I've been toying with this same question myself for quite some time. I won't say how long, so suffice it to say that it's a two digit number and the units of measurement are longer than minutes.
The advice everybody has been giving me is (mostly) right. It's good advice. I understand what everybody is saying, and it only makes perfect sense.
So why then, do I refuse to take that advice?
The only answer I have is that at present I do not feel I am properly emotionally equipped.
That's my answer. And for now it's the only real answer I'll give.
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My thoughts are like pixels on a screen. They're pointless all alone, but piece them together and maybe you'll see a larger picture.
5 comments:
Wow, and here I was thinking that I had the title for "most vague blog posts 2007" - you win!
Huh?
I'm being vague intentionally. If somebody catches on to what I'm referring, great. If not, that's also great.
Suffice it to say there's something I probably should do that everybody seems to agree I should do, but I'm not doing that thing anyways.
"A lot of people have been asking a particular question of me a lot lately. Every time I give an answer. I've been asked many times and I've given many different answers. And anybody on the receiving end of those answers knows as well as I do that they are over-rationalized excuses.
That's all they are excuses. They're not real answers."
I get the sense that's how you react when you're put under scrutiny in general. There are times when we've pile driven you to get your reasons for your opinion on something, and you've given dozens of excuses to back up your stance. Well reasoned excuses, granted, but I can't help but wonder if they're really the reasons that sit at your heart of the issue. :)
Of course, the peer pressure in these encounters is a big factor... You do tend to hole up and "dig in" under those kinds of circumstances.
Just an observation, while we're on the topic of, well, um, you. Hope you don't find any of that hurtful or anything. I'd feel real bad and say 'I'm sorry' every ten minutes I saw you if that was the case. :(
Nope, the observations are totally valid. I don't like being put under such scrutinization. I do things that make sense to me, and I don't usually feel I need to justify my feelings or actions to anybody else. So I hate it when en entire room calls me entire being into question.
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