My Personal Movie Soundtrack

You know those stupid things that always show up on myspace and facebook that make you skip through your playlist and fill in the blanks for random movie events? I did one tonight on facebook, because I think the idea of having a personal soundtrack is awesome. Normally I ignore these internet quiz things, but this one was kinda fun. So I decided to share it.

Go ahead, mock my playlist. You know you want to.

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What to do:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie

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[I'm going to use these brackets to provide a running commentary to make this more interesting. My movie starts off as a black and white art film that looks like it was done by an aspiring film student.]

Opening Credit:
Rabbit in the Headlights - Radiohead and DJ Shadow

Waking Up:
Poetry and Power - Gravity Kills

First day at High School:
Dark and Long - Underworld (Oakenfold dark train mix)

[So up to this point I'm getting the sense from the first few songs that my character takes life very seriously and is dealing with some serious drama. But then along comes the love song. Clearly the scene in which I fall in love occurs in a strip club and involves a latex-clad stripper.]

Falling in Love:
Frontline Assembly - Vanished

[The fight song, on the other hand, is so happy that it must be like a lover's quarrel complete with pillow fights, because there's no way I'd get my ass kicked to this bouncy number.]

Fight Song:
Dragonflies - Povi Muhoberac / Rizzo (uberzone in your bed mix)
(This is so NOT a fight song...)

[And then me and the stripper break up. I guess the song almost fits the scene, but the fact that I have it in my playlist may actually be the reason for the break-up.]

Breaking Up Song:
Be Like That - Three Doors Down

[Somehow during all this I became a DJ, because I'm playing my own music at my prom. How cool is that? So now the art film has become a trypical teen comedy romp.]

Prom:
Lingering in Limbo - Andrew Lockhart
(That's right, my own music is on my playlist!)

[But then comes the heavy drama again, with a certain sort of irony.]

Life:
Don't Laugh - Josh Wink

[Clearly somebody else is driving in this next scene, 'cuz I sure wouldn't be driving to the sappiest Britney song I've ever heard. Let's assume it's my closest female friend and confidante, and she's driving her car. I'm relating all my tales of woe to her, and she's offering support. ]

Driving:
Everytime - Britney Spears

[This is where the movie starts getting better and turns into a kung-fu crime drama. It turns out that up until this point the whole movie was one huge flashback. It's actually 20 years after high-school and I'm a badass detective with a drinking problem who was been heartbroken by a stripper in his teens and never recovered. ]

Flashback:
Walking Wounded - The Tea Party

[And 20 years later I meet the stripper again through circumstances invovling a crime investigation. It's messy, but we work things out through booze, fighting, and finally a big make-up make-out session.]

Getting Back Together:
Faces - Orgy

[We get married and our family life is a bit like being on the Adams Family.]

Wedding:
Oh My Goth - Razed in Black

Birth of Child:
Goth Girls - MC Frontalot

[But, OH NOES, here comes the Stripper's ex-angry-lesbian-lover. She's super jealous and high on crack, and we have to battle to the death.]

Final Battle:
Voices/Machine - Sister Machine Gun

[ Back to the drama. Having been slain by the angry lesbian, I cast away any belief in the afterlife in my final moments.]

Death Scene:
Heaven's a Lie - Lacuna Coil

[The funeral song is a symbol that I've learned nothing and will have to try again in another life]

Funeral Song:
Back to School - Deftones

[The credits roll as my wife, in her depression over my loss, seeks comfort in the arms of the drugged-out angry lesbian. They two of them proceed to snort themselves into Oblivion, leaving our gothy daughter abandoned to live on ths street.]

End Credits:
Come White - Apoptygma Berserk (Marylin Manson cover)

[The reel goes black, the house lights come back on, and the theatre patrons all ask for their money back 'cuz this movie sucked so much.]