Cupid with a Vengeance!

In a moment of weakness I logged into one of my old online dating site accounts. I was really really bored, okay? And yes, I have accounts on dating sites. Yes, plural. I never use them. I just happen to have accounts on various sites all over the internet. I mean, if I could find a record of all the websites I've ever registered or created a profile on ...
Back to the point. I decided to peruse the forums rather on said website rather briefly, and a post reminded that Valentine's Day is coming up.

I hate Valentine's Day.

But I had a thought: what if I celebrate it this year in my own twisted demented way?

What if I dress as a cherub on February 14th. Armed with a bow and arrows. Maybe arrows with pink shafts and fluffy white feathers. And I'll prance around with merriment and spread joy in the spirit of the "holiday" by sending my pink and white arrows sailing through the air to pierce the hearts of all those happy-go-lucky lovebirds out there.

It sounds terrible I know, but it's for the greater good. Sure, the deaths will be tragic and bloody and horribly unjustified and immoral. But at least all us single schmoes can get some sick enjoyment out of the day too, right?

Okay. I have issues. I admit it.


Anonymous said...

I just used to go out with a bunch of single friends of various sexes and get drunk.

No problem.

|:::lockan:::| said...

Sounds good. Know where I can find a bunch of single friends of various sexes?