I Wish Computers Grew on Trees

So my sketchy power supply finally died, and took my motherboard and hard drive with it for the ride to computer heaven. The whole system is basically toasted.

On the upside, it lived a good life and was well beyond it's time. A complete upgrade was going to be needed rather soon. The downside is that I don't actually have the money for a new computer. I've priced out all the parts I need to build a decent machine, but where I'm going to find $1500 is beyond me.

I've been making a list of clever ways that I can make enough money in a short amount of time. Here's what I've got so far, and I'm open to any suggestions.
(I'll also accept charity and hand-outs).

Clever and (Mostly) Legal (but not necessarily honest) Ways to Make $1500 Very Quickly.

  1. Have a kidney removed and sell it on the black market

  2. Hold a draw with a small cash prize. Sell 200 tix@$20 each, award $500 to the winner, and keep the rest of the money. Or, sell $1000 tickets @ $5 each for a 50/50 draw.

  3. Sell all my other posessions and use the earnings to buy a computer. Who needs clothes or furniture anyways?

  4. Rebuild my computer to a mostly-working state from scrap, and then sell it to some poor uninformed sap for far more than it's actual value.

  5. Start an internet business selling people the secrets to making money on the internet. The "secret" will be a short document outlinging how to start a business on the internet selling others the secrets to making money on the internet.

  6. Establish the "Andrew Lockhart Fund for Disadvantaged Gamers" and raise money for the fund, which aims to help provide "disadvantaged gamers" with up-to-date computer hardware. Then collect and fundraise for my charity.

  7. Make (or star in?) a low-budget amateur pornographic film and sell it the internet.

  8. Move out of my apartment and live on the street for 2 months. The saved rent money would fund a new system.

  9. Sell a fake collector's item on e-bay using a fake seller account and pictures of the item stolen from google image search.

  10. Form an oil company, forage all the documents, strike it big, and convince people to invest. Then cash out my stocks before anybody realizes that I'm not really drilling for oil.

If you have a brilliant money-making scheme to add to my list, please leave it in the comments.


Anonymous said...

One word: Plastics.

|:::lockan:::| said...

If by "plastics" you mean "credit cards", that's the exact thing I'm trying to avoid. I've been diligently paying mine off for the last year. I'm very close, and the last thing I want to do is run up another debt.

Anonymous said...

No, it was a reference to the line from the movie "The Graduate".

|:::lockan:::| said...

Hmm... never seen it. No wonder I missed the reference.

Anonymous said...

Pretty good film- a classic. Won a bunch of awards and features a young Dustin Hoffman.