1.21.2009

Prime Time Television

So I've been thinking about this plot for a sitcom episode all day. Just like Seinfeld or Friends. The sitcom would feature 2 couples and their quirky single friend. The episode would go something like this:

Cast:
Couple 1
Couple 2
Quirky Single Friend
Work Friend - Special Guest, one episode

Couple number one, feeling cooped up all the time, decides they should spend more time with couple number 2. They make plans with the second couple. But the second couple meet an extra couple (They're not important and thus only even mentioned in the dialogue, but never seen) and break plans with Couple 1. Soon enough Couple 1 never sees Couple 2, and are growing increasingly agitated.

Couple 1 then decides to spend more time with the Quirky Single Friend to fill their socializing void. Except Female 1 secretly thinks it would be better to hook up Quirky Single Friend with Work Friend. That way Quirkly Single Friend and Work Friend can start dating and Couple 1 will have a Couple 3 to do activities with.

And so Couple 1 invite Quirky Single Friend to dinner. But Female 1 also secretly invites Work Friend. Work Friend has been mentioned to Quirky Single Friend, but never formally introduced. Quirky Single Friend thinks that the dinner is just a casual friendly outing and invites Couple 2, whom he still sees on a regular basis and to the annoyance of Couple 1.

Of course all three people arrive at the fancy restaraunt and meet up with Couple 1 and Work Friend. Female 1 begins an aggressive sales pitch of Quirky Single Friend in an attempt to foster interest between Quirky Single Friend and Work Friend. But the situation quickly becomes awkward as Male 1 is forced to try and diffuse the situation, but can't do so easily without risking the wrath of Female 1. Conversations start being passed through the table from one cast member to another with Couple 2 acting as an information relay between the other 4.
"Would you please tell Male 1..."
"Well you can tell Female 2..."

The entire scene turns into a disaster scene full of witty jokes, silly but uncomfortable antics with the waiter, wrong orders, and food allergy mishaps. Work Friend becomes alienated towards both Couples, and Quirky Single Friend tries to hide from embarassment. Work Friend and Quirky Single friend barely say two words for the entire scene as they're constantly being interrupted mid-sentence by one of the 4 other characters at the table. The scene finally ends in an awkward silence where everybody eats desert and doesn't speak to each other. Which makes paying the bill very difficult since nobody will talk to each other.

The punchline to the episode is, of course, this: It's not an episode of a sitcom at all. I've taken quite a few liberties and exaggerated quite a bit, but this was actually my life last night.

I am Quirky Single Friend.

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