A Shoulder to Lean On

I guess it's time to post something new on here, if for no other reason than to bump the picture of me in drag further down the page. (Related sidenote: no Dad, I don't always wear women's clothing, and I'm not planning on starting anytime soon.)

So if any of you have talked to me in the last 3 days you may have already heard this story. But I have nothing else interesting to post at the moment, so I'm going to tell the story again for the benefit of my out-of-town readers. (I know you're all lurking out there!)

I went out to Pub 340 with some friends on Friday night for lack of more entertaining things to do. Note to self: next time take earplugs. I didn't have more than a drink or two, and I didn't really care for the bands, and the evening was mostly uneventful.

Okay, that's a lie, but I'm going to glaze over the events as most of them didn't involve me in any direct manner and so don't need to be written about.

In any case, I found myself standing outside the bar at 3AM waiting for my friends to return from the alley next to the bar so we could be on our way. I don't know what they were doing in the alley, and I don't think they know what they were doing down there either. I think they just decided to take a leisurely stroll for a few feet with no particular destination in mind, and that's just where they ended up.

Back to the point. So I'm standing outside the bar on the sidewalk at the end of this alley. My back is turned to the doors as I'm mostly preoccupied with trying to figure out what my friends are doing down the alley. I'm standing with hands in pockets and shoulders hunched up to fight off the cold. I hear some people exit the bar. A few moments later I feel a pair of arms wrap around my waist from behind and a chin come to rest on my shoulder. I look over my right shoulder to greet a very inebriated female face. It's a girl/woman/carbon-based lifeform that I'd seen in the bar earlier. Not somebody I know, mind you, just somebody who I'd noticed was in the same establishment and seemed to be enjoying themselves. Too much, perhaps.

She's mumbling incoherently into my ear. I guess drinking too much will do that. I have no idea what she's saying. I can't make out a word. About a minute goes by. I endure her clinging, but I'm still more interested in what my friends in the alley are up to, and now I'm even more anxious for them to come back. Finally, I turn to the thing attached to me and state very honestly "I'm sorry, but I haven't understood a word you've said."
"Nothing?" she asks?
"Not a word." I reply.

What follows is just more incoherent mumbling that trails off into little more than a whisper. I can only make out a few words. I think perhaps she was trying to tell me I was fortunate to have her for armour from the rain. But I only caught about every third word, so mostly I'm speculating. And it wasn't raining.

She continues to cling. I continue to stand with my hands in my pockets indifferently. Finally she manages to get out a sentence that along the lines of "Are you waiting for your friends, or taking a cab home?".

Did I mention she's drunk? I'm pretty sure this is basically her completely transparent drunken way of asking if she can come home with me. I tell her I'm waiting for friends and that we're getting a cab back to their place, as soon as they return from the alley.

The mostly one-sided conversation she's been having abruptly ends. Her chin lifts from my shoulder, her arms unclasp from my waist, and she wanders away to ask the nearest stranger for a cigarette. My friends emerge from the alleyway a few moments later, and we hail a cab and go on our merry way.

So on the one hand I'm a little flattered that some strange woman would deem me friendly looking and approachable enough to latch on to. I suppose that's to my credit. But on the other hand, Eww! Gross!