I've Been Cleansed. (I Think)

My video games cleanse has come to an end. It's time to write about it a little bit and reflect on how I did.

I managed to say away from games at home for the most part. There was one night right at the end there when some friends came over and we played a few for entertainment. But with 3 people I figured it was social, and it was also the 30th, so I figured that close to the end of the month it was okay.

I didn't manage to kick the habit completely, and I don't think I ever could. I've been playing games so long that they're basically part of my being. I don't think I could ever give them up entirely. But I've proved to myself that I can take a break, and that I'm not tied down by them. Like anything else, it's mind over matter. I can play them, or I can not. The choice is always up to me.

I went out a bit more and spent more time with some friends. And I made a few more long distance phone calls than I normally would. It was nice being able to get in touch with a few friends. I think I'll do it more often.

I didn't get anything productive done though. In the entire month I think I spent a whopping 4 hours working on portfolio stuff. Even without games, most days I still wasn't in the mood to do anything that would require thinking. At the end of the day I ultimately just want to turn my brain off and recharge.

And while I was able to avoid games at home, I found that I usually just filled that same time watching television, which is far less interesting than a game. I could have avoided that too, except that a friend lent me the final season of Battlestar Galactica on DVD. 2 episodes a night for 2 weeks really ate through my month.

So what have I learned? Well, not much really. I guess on some levels I feel better about myself. But in terms of being productive there's still work to be done. Maybe that will by my next goal.

A Conversation Snippet

M: "You're awfully cute. I'm surprised you haven't been cougar-mauled yet."

A: "Well thank you. I'm flattered that you think I should be mauled by cougars."

VG Cleanse - I cheated a little bit

So I guess I've cheated a little. It all started at work on friday. I had a task that involved a few scattered minutes of uptime between longer periods of downtime. To make the task more bearable, I started playing a game on facebook that's nothing more than a simple time-waster. Which wasn't a problem, since I stated in my own rules that games at work are allowed.

But then I found myself playing that same facebook game yesterday for two sittings of 30 minutes each. And again today for another 30 minutes. And while it may not be a PC game or a console game, it's still basically gaming. The point at which I decided I'm "wasting time" was the point at which I decided I had to stop.

Even still, I've made it three weeks without much extra-curicular gaming. And I intend to finish out the month as planned. I'll just have to keep off the silly facebook game while I'm at home.

Only one more week to go!

VG Cleanse - Week Three

I'm past the two week hump. In the past two weeks I've only played video games three times: Rock Band twice at a friend's house, and a single round of Dawn of War 2 at lunch today.

It's day 15, and I'm starting to get twitchy. I'm proud of myself for going this long without games, but I have an itch that I really want to scratch. I wonder if this is what it's like for people to quit smoking?

I'm also not getting nearly as much done in my newfound free time as I thought I would. So for the next two weeks I'm going to try and make a more concentrated effort. At the very least, I'm going to start phoning people and sending e-mails. I said I'd try and keep in better touch with people, but so far I'm still falling short in that department.

VG Cleanse - Week 2

Well, I'm on to week 2. I've done really well so far. Even Sunday wasn't so bad. Granted, I was dead tired Sunday and so I mostly just fell asleep on the couch.

Rule 3 of my "cleanse" came into effect this evening. I went to a friend's place and we played some Rock Band for an hour or so. We do this on Mondays. We play Rock Band, they feed me, and we watch House. Man, am I rusty. I could barely stumble my way through the chords on March of the Pigs. Yikes. Haven't played it in ages; I'll have to practice up.

So this experiment is going well. It's funny though, how I haven't actually discovered much more "quality time" in my schedule. I guess I've gone out a bit more in the evenings on weekdays to visit with people. But the nights I've been home have mainly been spent working on a portfolio piece. It's not games, so I guess it's more productive. But ultimately, it's still 3 hours staring at a screen and ignoring the world around me. So while I feel like I'm getting some work done, I still feel pretty disconnected from society. But the weekends seem to be making up for that.

Went to an awesome housewarming party at some friends' place Saturday night. They turned it into a mini-rave in their kitchen - complete with 4 or 5 alternating DJs and a laser-light show. I guess that's what happens when all the people you know (which is to say, all the people that they know) DJ or hang out at the same bar on the same night of every week.

I can definitely feel the pull of games lately though, too. Even though I'm not playing them in my spare time, I'm still surrounded by them every day. On Transit, in the media, on the internet, at lunch-hour... the industry doesn't rest, even if I am. Like anything, there's always temptation. But I guess it's all mind over matter.

Rock Band Network went online last week. There are songs on there by KMFDM. KM-[F]reakin'-DM!! I'm sticking to the plan. I'm not going to download them yet. But I've made a note to myself to do so as soon as April rolls around. I've also passed up a few good sale-deals on games that I would have otherwise jumped on as impulse buys. Hooray for saving money.

In the meantime, I need to think up some entertainment for my friends and I for next Monday. The rules are clear: no gaming at home. They'll probably come over for dinner and House - it's my turn - but outside of that we'll have to play cards or a board game or watch a movie or something.

I also need to think up something simple to cook that will feed three. I've got my usual go-to recipe: stir-fry. But one friend is allergic to many of the vegetables that would be staples in said stir-fry, so that limits me.

Cleanse - Day Three

Well, it's wednesday night at 10pm. I've now made it three days without playing any games in my spare time.

Monday I went to visit some friends for dinner and light socializing.

Tuesday was a quiet night at home watching TV and an attempt at some portfolio work. I gave that up after 90 minutes of frustration, feeling technically satisfied but suffering from an artistic block.

Tonight I went for beer and wings with a friend that I don't see very often. Then he dropped by and we shared and listened to any interesting bands we'd been listening to lately. Sent an e-mail to another friend I haven't heard from in a while. It's been good.

I've only sort of cheated once today at work during my lunch hour. I spent about 20 minutes playing a game demo I'd downloaded last week. Thankfully, I was unimpressed by the demo and so it was easy to turn it off. It certainly didn't leave me with any desire to play other games either.

Of course, every time the brain turns to boredom that gaming reflex is still there. But I've been able to catch it every time and stop myself.

I think the weekend will be the biggest challenge. I've got plenty to do Saturday to keep me occupied. But Sunday evening is when I usually do the most gaming. There are a lot of free hours to fill, and I hope I can maintain my resolve.

Time for Detox - My Video Game Cleanse

Tomorrow I begin what I am calling a "video game cleanse". The goal: to go for 1 month without video games. For the month of March I will not playing any video games in my leisure time.

Of course, due to my career choice it's impossible for me to avoid video games completely, so there are some basic rules I'll be following.

The Video Game Cleanse Rules
1.) I will not play video games while I am at home. Any time I feel the urge to play games, I will find something else to do. I will call friend, read a book, work out, go for a bike ride, watch a movie, play piano, or work on my portfolio.

2.) As a QA tester, I must play games at work. So games at work are acceptable. Otherwise I'd probably get fired.

3.) If I am socializing with friends at their homes and they are playing video games, this counts as socializing and so video games away from home are also acceptable. However, this situation should be avoided if at all possible.

4.) Board games, card games, and table-top wargames typically involve interactions with real people in a public space. Therefore, other forms of gaming are still perfectly acceptable forms of entertainment during this cleanse period.


So why am I doing this? There are a number of reasons. The short of it is that I've been thinking a lot about my life and where I'm at. There are things about me and my habits that I'd like to change. I feel like a need a personality make-over.

Over the last few years I've started playing more and more games. It's become an easy answer to cure a case of boredom. But the more games I play, the more other parts of my life seem to fall to the wayside. I'm not playing games enough to think I have an addiction to them. It's just that while I'm playing games my brain basically shuts off. The brain is a muscle, and mine is getting lazy and weak.

I used to read. I used to play music. I used to create artwork. I used to do things for myself that I felt fuelled my spirit and made me the person I am. These days I don't feel like myself, and while I don't think games are the primary problem, they are certainly a major contributing factor.

And most importantly, I used to dedicate a lot of time to building and maintaining relationships with friends and family. It should be as simple as making the occasional phone call or going for a cup of coffee. But I haven't been doing that much, because I've usually got my eyes fixed on a screen and a controller in my hand. And so I've lost touch with a lot of the people I care about, and failed to build stronger friendships with people that I'd like to get to know better. I once had a thriving social life, but that's dwindled.

So it's time to fix that. Instead of wasting all that time playing games, I'm going to take all those hours and put them towards doing other things that I feel are more worthwhile. I'm going to spend time doing things that remind me who I am. And maybe I'll get to know myself better. If it goes well, maybe I'll get to know you a little bit better too.

Because the endgame for this cleanse isn't just to go for a month without video games. The endgame is to become a better, well rounded person. For life. After all, life isn't like a video game. There are no extra men, and no respawns. You only get one life. It would be a shame to waste mine.