'Til Death Do Us Part

I visited Edmonton a few weeks ago for a friend's wedding. The bride has been a good friend for quite a few years and I was happy to visit. There were lots of other good friends there too. The whole gang back together in one room again, basically. It was nice to see everybody again.

Mostly.

At some point in the evening one of the bridesmaids, whom I've known as long as I've known the bride, decided that I should hook up with one of the other bridesmaids. She didn't really care which one. That wasn't the point. She just though I should "get some". She decided to tell me so, and got a few other people involved as well. It was all in good fun I guess, but I was not amused.

"But don't you want to get laid?" was her question, half joking, half serious.
"Here? With a complete stranger? No." I said very bluntly.
"Why not?"

Of course, at the time I was mostly annoyed and felt a little on the spot, so I couldn't put together enough thoughts and words to explain exactly why. I'm not sure I had an answer myself, at the time. It's not that I didn't know why. It just wasn't clear to me.
But I do now that I've had time to think about it, and it's something like this:

For me, sex for the sake of sex is meaningless. I've never liked the idea of one night stands because the mere idea of them seems empty and pointless. Sure you have a little fun, but there are plenty of ways to do that without sex. And unless there's some sort of other emotional attachment involved, I'm not interested.

Frankly, if I wanted a meaningless sexual experience all I'd need to do is turn on my computer and fire up a web browser. It would take me about 1 millionth of a second to find some porn on the internet. Oh look. There's some now! See how easy that was? No bridesmaid required. And... oh look! Naked bridesmaids even!

Of course, she and a few others insisted on forcing the issue. They just couldn't fathom why I would refuse what, to them, was a golden opportunity. Because apparently it's just that easy to go to a wedding, find a drunk bridesmaid, and get sme action. And then the bride, who had had "a bit" to drink, dropped by and also got involved. And of course she thought this was a grand idea and was behind it 100%. Because I'm always miserable and she wants me to be happy. Her words, not mine.

Thank you, guys. Thank you for thinking of me. Thank you for being concerned for my welfare. I appreciate it, I really do. But you should know me better than that. Your hearts may have been in the right place, but your heads clearly weren't.

And people wonder why I hate weddings...